I'm going to be honest with you now.

I've been working non stop, starting May 2008 on the Saphyre Project. And I think now I'm getting myself in a rut.

I feel so unconfident with anything I do. I try to write a story about my characters, but my writing sucks. I try to do a comic and within moments I'm completely overwhelmed at the sheer difficulty. My characters, I feel, will never be as good as anyone elses characters. Everything I do just isn't good enough for me. Theres always something out there better.

Looking back on the beginnings of my project, i had a lot more enthusiasm, and i knew that the whole thing was for nothing but fun and enjoyment. But now, I feel as though working on the project is a duty and a chore.

The reasons why? I think my low self esteem in general is to blame for my constant being hard on myself. But also I think after all these long months working on this project, I've completely over-worked myself. Its gotten to the point its stressing me out! This is meant to be fun! I've completely let the project take over me.

Thats why i've been doing fan art lately, because It just feels so much more chilled to me, because I'm drawing someone elses brilliant characters. I'm not responsible for anything, I don't have to think about anything. I just have to make sure the drawings all well and good.

I think I'm gonna take a break entirely from my project. I don't want all the concepts I've done to completely go to waste, so I will pick it back up. But I think when I do, I might rebuld everything from the ground up, get rid of all the baggage. You could say that I'm thinking of starting something new all together, and maybe that will happen. I love my characters I've created, so if I were to start from the ground up, they'd be in there but kind of with a different identity. A different look and name maybe. But then again you could argue they wouldn't be the characters they're meant to be no more.

Not many people were aware of this Saphyre Project I don't think so it might not be such a problem.


I'm not taking a break from art however, because thats not whats stressing me out. Expect lots more fan art from me in the coming months. The project work might continue in the new year.